The Revision Project: Query Letter
Because I’ve added a couple people who know stuff about query letters, I thought I might as well post my very old and well-worn (and suddenly highly unsatisfactory) query letter for critique.
Dear [agent I’ve chosen to torture this time around]:
I would like to offer for your consideration my 105,000-word urban fantasy/faerie novel Shaper. When artist Zeva Couran is attacked by a Faerie creature, she is drawn into an age-old struggle between factions of Faerie and humans–one to which she may hold the key–and into a confusing and fascinating rivalry between two men who couldn’t be more different.
Zeva Couran is surprised to learn that her hometown, the small city of Capernaum, Illinois, is home to the creatures and people of Faerie. When she is dragged into the middle of an ancient Faerie land feud, she is fascinated by the vastness of the otherworld and terrified by the powers she never knew she had and doesn’t know how to use. As a guest at Regent’s Castle, Zeva meets exciting and frightening people like shadowed writer Edmund Ombry, musician Poppy Dannert, who loves someone who may not even exist, and failed seminary student Boone Mellady. She also learns there is a mystery surrounding the castle, and that there is a struggle in the realms of Faerie–and she holds the key to both! As she learns to navigate the turbulent currents of Faerie, she finds herself torn between two men–the kind-hearted Boone and the mysterious Edmund. She must search within herself to find the answers.
Thank you very much for your time. The full manuscript is available upon request, and two companion are completed in draft form. I look forward to hearing from you.
Oh my lord, I actually used an exclamation mark in there. I used this query for a contest a couple months ago. I sort of want to shoot myself now.