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Rewritten Query Letter

August 5, 2010

This morning I was pounced by a line for my query. So I rewrote the entire query.

Potter and Illinois native Zeva Couran is really tired of the starving artist shtick. She still enjoys the art side of it; it’s the starving she has a problem with. So when she’s attacked in the street and finds herself swept off to her rescuer’s castle, it feels a lot like a fairytale.

Trouble is, fairy tales always have a villain.

The Far Dorocha is a nightmare creature who serves the Unseelie Queen. He has focused on Zeva as the answer to a problem the Fae have had for the past 300-odd years: they want out of the pact they made with the Rankin family who owns the castle. Apparently Zeva is a Shaper, someone who can touch fate and alter it according to her will. Emphasis on the apparently, because she has no idea how to use her powers. As Fithian Rankin attempts to protect her and teach her about the Fae, Zeva has to explore her powers and her confusing feelings for both the kind-hearted Boone and the mysterious Edmund.

Shaper is complete at 105,000 words. I have drafted plots for three related novels. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks very much for your time.

Thoughts, comments, criticism are all welcome.

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From → Submissions, Writing

  1. Jolie permalink

    Hi Stephanie,

    What you’ve got is good and you’ve summarized the plot well. What’s missing, though, is what is completely unique about the storyline. Right now, even though you’re specific as to the general story, I think it would be to your advantage to really look at what it is that makes your story extraordinary. Is it your heroine? Why? Is it your world building? What makes this world different than what we’ve seen before? I think you’re getting there, but agents and editors are looking for the spark of the unique.

    For what it’s worth, I’ve found synopses and brief teasers a lot more difficult than writing a whole book.

  2. Thanks Jolie! I agree with you, synopses are so much more difficult to write than a whole book! I think I’ve managed a little better to write the query in my voice, but there’s always something else to revise for, isn’t there? LOL Thanks for your critique — it’ll definitely be useful when I look at the query again.

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